Bonnie and my taste

I started putting some of my clothes in the closet just now. I'm staying in the guest room upstairs, and like most guest rooms it is furnitued with antiques. It has always been a classic spot to store your furniture too old and valuable to expose to the elements, pets, parties and etc. But still classy enough for a friend to use on a weekend stayover at your pad.
So I'm ripping open the white Glad bags that doubled as suitcases for the last three days when for the second time today, I am filled with remorse. I started to think about how my mother always tries to shop for clothing for me, but she never gets it right. I am a very picky clothing shopper, and it is better to just leave me to my own devices then try and buy clothing for me. I almost never go out intending to buy clothing for myself. It's only when I am not pressured into anything like if I'm joining a friend as he shops or something catches me as I walk by a store. Usually when I buy an article of clothing it holds some meaning for me. I would buy something during a special occasion, or something was given to me by someone who was special to me. I can probably tell you where all of my clothing came from and here is a sampler of not only my memory, but what I like to carry as far as fashion. These are in no particular order, just what comes to mind.
I am currently wearing a bright green shirt that says Bollocks in white, with a shamrock as one of the "o"s. It was a gift from Bonnie's sister when she returned from Ireland. The jeans I bought at K's for cheap. I was shopping with Jessica, a girl I worked with shortly at a hotel, when she showed them to me. They are a 34X34 which is generally too large in the waist for me, but with a belt I manage. They were pretty cheap and fairly attractive so I went with them. Just don't dare me to wear them with no belt or underwear. The shoes are classic black Chuck Taylor's with a twist, red stitching. A couple times a year I like to refurbish my shoe collection with a fresh pair of Cons since they are so easy to blemish. I really enjoy the feel of Chuck T's, and they seem to fit just about any occasion. Wearing them really says a lot about a person, and in this case, shoes really do make a person. These black with red "piping" are by far the best pair, taste wise, that I have owned to date. This was the first time in my life I took extra effort not to wear them when working. I just wish they were a size larger because they are a little tight, but it was the only size close to mine and I had to have them.
While loading my clothing collection into my mother's antique wardrobe closet I was reminded of how my taste in fashion had shifted. I use to be so youth, carefree and happy with Bonnie and my clothing reflected that life time. But now gone are the orange shirts, purple pants and red shoes, and in there place greys, blacks, jeans and slacks. I have a simple and refined taste. I dont like loud shirts with fancy designs and I hate clothing that advertises itself like A&F. I prefer form fitting clothing like tight t-shirts. I am already self conscience enough about my thin frame, and wearing baggy over-sized shirts does not help the situation one bit. The mistake most people make in shopping for clothes for me is getting things too big. They assume because I am so tall that I will wear a large or even extra large, and it drives me insane. I like a sophisticated look, clean and sharp, but with an independent zest and playful demeanor. I call it Office Punk, and it's my thing. It use to sway toward the pop punk side, but now has drastically turned to the office prep side. My favorite store you might ask, Banana Republic. They cater to my taste and my body type, so Clyde is pleased.
My mom loves me a lot and she is always buying me things. Things I dont like or dont need. She travels all over the world and likes to collect trinkets to hold onto, but she always brings things back for me that I don't want. I appreciate the gesture and its just how she is, but I'm a simplest and I don't see a need for things like that in my life. The way I see it, it's just one more thing to pack or break or lose.
As I thought about all of this while unpacking, I realized that only one person in my life has ever gotten my taste right. Bonnie always knew what I wanted. She never missed a beat when getting me any kind of gift. Her taste in fashion never faulted. It never was the gift that got me, it was that someone finally decided to spend the time to know what I like. I am a complicated person so to do that takes a lot of effort. She was beautiful at that, and I loved that she knew me that well. To this day some of my priced clothing possesions are pieces she got for me. My favorite jeans that fit me so perfectly are from her, as well as my signature belt, a skull and feathered wings strapped to a black leather belt with red stars.
Its so sad now to get a gift from her because not only are they small because she can't afford much, but they don't connect with me like they use to. She doesn't know me anymore, and so the gifts don't hold much bearing with me. They are still very much priced, but only because they are reminders of her fleeting moments when she would try and show some care toward me. I hardly have anything shared with Bonnie now. I have no clue what she has done over the past almost 2 years. I only have a few hours of memories with her, and a few trickets she threw my way. What she doesnt realize is how important she was to me. If someone had offered me a million dollars for the belt buckle, or the jeans, or the black stuffed cat or anything she got me I would turn them down. I couldn't get anything out of Bonnie after she left. It was like squeezing a rock for water when trapped in the middle of the desert. So any small thing she gave me, or any time I got to spend with her, I capitalized the best I could. I can vividly remember every aspect of the memories I have with her because they are priceless to me, and nobody can ever take them from me.