How are things my gorgeous? I guess about now I've been starting to realize what all I have done. I still wonder if leaving and signing over for you were the right things to do. I'm still scared about all of this. Its about now I realize what all I left, the friends and the fight for you. Its almost like I just gave up and I'm taking the easy way out now.
Youre one hell of an awesome broad you know that? I'm sorry if I've been so sexual lately. I really havent had any in so long, and I really had no intentions of making love to you. Of course it was a dream, but it never crossed my mind that whole day. It just happened. Anyways, since then its been on my mind so much. I have to say you came into my life with a bang and you left with one, youre like a shooting star I swear. You captivated this ole guy when I walked into your life, and you still captivate me now after you've left.
I'm not gonna lie to you Jill. I miss you so fucking much my dear. I never wanted to say yes to that judge, but I knew it was what you wanted.
I really dont know if you've seriously moved on to someone, I dont care. I dont know what you think or if you cry over any of this. But if you see anything out of this or me, see that my love never faultered for you, never. I tried all I could to make things right, and to show perfect love for you. So if you are ever looking for that in your life again, you know where to find it. I know you are embarassed of what happened, and you dont want people to know we still talk, its why you hide your myspace profiles.
When you said those three words to me, you made everything ok. You made the whole struggle worth fighting. I had waited a year to hear you say that to me. I don't care if you didnt mean it or not. Unfortunately, after so long of being lied to, I still find it hard to trust you or think your intentions are good.
I dont know, I guess I'm done ranting, I have to go back out now.
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